As an aside, I do not recommend eating a berocca. I was in some serious pain afterwards. I thought I was going to be sick at first, then I felt like my chest was going to explode, and the sides of my ribs were in constant pain. Then I burped. A LOT. And the pain went away. Ah physics.
Back to Welshie. Best part of it was laughing at the fact he has “Happy 21st Birthday” cards up in his room. He was born in 1991. LORD. I really need to stop getting with boys who are only a few months older than my baby brother. Or, I can consider this all training for when I’m 40 and am going to be a proper cougar. Which I so blatantly am going to be.
He poked me awake at about 6am because he (allegedly) had to be in at 8. So I hauled ass out of there, but not without realising I’d lost (another) earring. Seriously I go through so many. I basically can’t wear them if I’m going to be drinking because I will just lose them.
So that was (another) Stride of Pride at commuting time. Considerably hungover.
Anyway, there had been no mention of numbers or anything so I carried on my merry way, day later came the friend request from him (yeaaah, always feel better for resisting doing it myself) and then 2 days later he messaged saying he had found my earring! Whoop.
However, in the mean time I was doing some stalking research….His facebook relationship status states “Single.” So far so good.
BUT
There is a lot of other stuff on there to suggest he’s not. Photos of holidays with what is/was(?) obviously a longterm girlfriend, very recent wall posts etc etc. Enough to make me think: “HMMMM.” Other things in his behaviour made me think “HMMMM” as well – he kept telling me to be quiet (not just specifically in sex, I’m a generally noisy person, ESPECIALLY when drunk), the fact he got me up so early and out of the house, and poked his head in his flatmate’s room on the way out – (who hadn’t been in)….
But, on the other hand, the potential girlfriend doesn’t seem like the type who would tolerate her BF’s status being single (would anyone?), and as has been pointed out to me: if he was cheating why the hell would he add me on fb? Surely he’d want to minimise risk? But then again, men can be complete idiots sometimes. Or, it’s been a VERY (talking a week, 2 weeks max) breakup.
Fast forward a few more days. He messages me asking if I want my earring back, and we chat for a bit, and then try to set up some kind of quasi date/drinks/event to get this errant earring back to me. (Incidentally this is *exactly* the same pretence that me and Toga first met up with – “giving back my toga.” I need to do this more often – leave an item of belonging, have to see them again to get it back! Obviously with nothing I actually want/need in case the gamble doesn’t pay off…)
Didn’t really arrange anything concrete, he just said he would text over the weekend and we’d go somewhere. So this could very easily fall through.
So, did he cheat? Or is he single? Watch this space.
The whole thing got me thinking about people who cheat in relationships. The only time I’ve ever done it was right at the end of one, where I knew we were going to break up soon, and I kissed a guy I met in a mosh pit at Leeds Festival. PAH! But I knew we weren’t going to last, he knew it as well and we did indeed break up a few weeks later. I’m not saying that kissing this guy was right, but in my head I’d psychologically already broken up with my bf.
But I’ve never slept with someone else whilst with a boyfriend, and I’d like to think I never would.
And what I find hard to wrap my head around is people who cheat but carry on the relationship. Ok, if it was a horrendous drunken mistake that you barely remember and are incredibly guilty about, that makes sense, I can understand that. But what about those that actively seek it, that do it intentionally, that it’s pre-meditated, that actively look for someone to cheat on their partner with? Surely doing this is a sign that something is fundamentally wrong with your relationship, whether that be the lack of sex (oft cited), the lack of communication, the lack of time spent together – whatever – and this is something you need to address and fix, or if it can’t be fixed BREAK UP WITH THEM YOU ARE CLEARLY NOT MEANT TO BE TOGETHER.
I’ve been tricked into being the “other girl,” before. I didn’t actually have sex with this guy, but well, put it this way, I would not be happy with our activities if I was his girlfriend. I was out with a load of mutual friends, and he was being very complimentary, flirty etc which I respond very well to, but I noticed he had a photo of a girl as his background on his phone, which he told me was his girlfriend…..few hours later we were walking to the next bar and he grabbed me and pushed me into a bus stop and starting kissing me (romantic!), but I stopped and kicked off about his girlfriend. Cue a rather long convoluted story about how she had cheated on him a while ago then he did on her to get back at her blah blah blah, upshot was they were now in an “open relationship” and they could get with other people.
So I thought, “Fine, cool, people do that, it’s ok,” and the evening carried on. I assumed everything was fine, but then at a later date when talking about it with a girlfriend ,was informed that the whole open relationship thing, although they had done it previously, was now not in play and therefore I was definitely now a bad person. Eeek!
Another old friend is exactly the same. Long term girlfriend, shags around, everyone knows. BUT WHY? Am I being naïve? Is this a male thing? Or are women just as bad? Is it a sex thing? I guess I just like to think that if I was ever in that situation and the relationship was such a mess that I’d be big enough to end it with my partner rather than cheat on them.
Of course, that kind of relies on HAVING A GOD DAMN BOYFRIEND IN THE FIRST PLACE.
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