So. I have just returned from a week's holiday skiing with my uni. It's always a debauched affair with a hell of a lot of alcohol consumed. I had a flipping awesome time, the weather was great, the snow was great, the people I went with were great.
I was going single (broke up with SB just before Christmas, which was a long time coming, and maybe another blog post). I hadn't got with anyone since SB so I was quite looking forward to this. On the coach on the way out I'd been chatting with people, who asked me if there was anyone in particular I had my eye on.
Indeed there was. We shall call him HR for now (holiday romance). HR is the year below me, and in a group of friends that I know as mainly acquaintances/associates. People you see in the union regularly, know their faces and names, all play one sport or another. But I'd only really known of his existence for about a month before Christmas for some reason, despite starting uni at the same time (2.5 years ago).
Anyway, he was top of the list for me, but the only time I'd ever actually met him was half cut in a macdonalds at like 3am as he was with some of the people described above, having just been on a halloween zombie run night thing that I'd done a few weeks before. I ended up just talking AT them, (as you do) about how good it had been, but that was the only contact we'd had.
Back to the holiday, we get to resort about 5pm, then get ready and head out straight away for that night. I was preeettty drunk, went to the first bar, had a few more drinks (3euro for a double spirit....I spent 6euro all night....)
Then I woke up, next to him. HR's apartment was exactly the same as mine, and we, by coincidence, had chosen the same bed in the layout to sleep in, so naturally I thought we were in my room. He mumbled something about not being able to go back to sleep, so I said:
"It's ok I won't be offended if you leave."
.....
He replied with, "Erm, this is my room...."
Ah.. right...I'll just be leaving then.
Apparently we'd spent a lot of time talking in the bar, I'd spent a lot of time telling people how FIT HE IS. Don't remember talking to him, don't remember walking home. Woke up still in my clothes, so we'd obviously not done anything.
The rest of the week was fairly similar. We skiied together the next day, and a few other days in the week and had a few good chats, then spent every night together, in various degrees of drunkeness. Told each other we were lovely a lot. Told each other we were hot a lot. We didn't actually manage to have sex until New Years Ever (4 days later) which resulted in a lot of stick from the rest of the group. (I was too drunk, he was too drunk, I was too drunk, too many people in the room etc).
We managed another cheeky little shag on Thursday after everyone had gone out skiing (it's quite hard work when there's 6 people staying in one room!) after which we went for a burger together. Just the two of us. Had to repeat an awful lot of conversations as I'd/he'd forgotten what we'd talked about. But still, it was nice to be doing it (relatively) sober.
Got back on Saturday lunch time after an overnight coach journey. We were on separate coaches so I didn't see him at all, and then his coach got back before mine so didn't manage to say goodbye. Got home, added him on facebook, then had an agonising wait whilst I waited for him to accept.......
He did, then promptly asked me round to "hide under a duvet on a sofa with tea and biscuits."
I went over, and we went out for food (which he paid for all of, despite me trying to pay), watched a film, I met his housemate (couldn't really avoid that to be quite honest), then we went to bed, had incredible sex, twice, then stayed up talking for quite a while.
One of the things we talked about was how we'd gone two and a half years without ever really crossing paths, how he's really been under the radar for me. It's odd, because he plays rugby, he comes out a lot, I know most of the rugby boys, and most of the boys in his year, so really quite bizarre. He also came out with:
"You're blonde."
I replied, "Is that a question, or a statement."
He frowned, then, "It's just I don't really go for blondes."
.......Make of that what you will.
Next morning, we woke up, had amazing groggy morning sex, he made crumpets, we went out and had a wander round East London markets, went for a milkshake (he paid again), dragged it out for a good hour and a half chatting, he walked me to the station, HELD MY HAND.
So. Now. What to do. This man is beautiful. Like literally the hottest man I think I've ever had sex with. Which is quite a few as you know. He has beautiful eyes, the most incredible smile, his body is banging (typical rugby boy), he's LOVELY and completely not arrogant which he totally could be, considering how attractive he is. We had awesome sex. He's the same age as me so we have the whole "being lots older than all our immediate friends" chat going on. I want to keep seeing him. I'd be very excited if something developed.
But. A few things.
1) SB. We broke up less than a month before I got with HR. I didn't really think anything like this would happen, and I feel a bit weird about it. SB did ask me not to get with "any of his friends" before changing it to "anyone he'd have to meet/see." They played on the same rugby team. SB definitely knows who HR is. I even found a photo of the two of them on Facebook after a rugby match. I said it was probably quite soon to the guys in my room who know the situation, but one of them said, "Yes, but you can never control these things."
2) Whilst on the trip HR did say a few things along the lines of, "We've just always been drunk together, we can't have a sober conversation." I think we proved this wrong this weekend however. I hope we did.
At one point on Saturday night the conversation turned briefly to "Is this just a holiday romance, or something else?"
I asked him, "Well what do you want to do? See how things go, or just leave it here?"
"What, so as not to ruin it?"
"Mmmm," I replied.
"Just see how it goes I think."
As an aside, I was asked by my roommates whilst away if I wanted to see him after the holiday was over and I gave a fairly non committal, "I'd just see how things go." Whilst talking to another girl she asked me the same thing, then told me she'd asked HIM if he wanted to see me again afterwards and he'd said, "yes."
This is possibly one of the most stereotypical Head vs Heart situations ever.
Heart: he's PERFECT
Head: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU'VE KNOWN HIM A WEEK, AN INCREDIBLY INTENSE DRUNKEN WEEK, ON HOLIDAY, CALM THE FUCK DOWN.
Problem is, I think it's already too late. I think I've fallen for him. I like him too much already, so if things go wrong I'll be gutted. I *could* try and claw things back a little now and save myself. But I'm not even sure I can, and I'm pretty sure I don't even want to. I don't know if this lovely little weekend has been an extension of the holiday, or the start of something.
*sigh*.....Watch this space
