Ghosting

Ghosting.


According to Urban Dictionary:

"The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating but no long wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just "get the hint" and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested."



It's happened to everyone. To be honest, everyone has probably done it themselves. I'm sure I probably have in the past. But certainly in the last year, if I've gone on a date and not been interested I've made an effort to tell the guy. And I certainly won't be doing it again to anyone else in the future.
Which brings me to recent events. AKA When I Got Ghosted and Got Really Fucking Annoyed About It.

I met ScorTish at my mum's Moving to Scotland with her Fiance garden party. I was completely expecting the party to be full of her 50-60 year old mates. Who granted, are good fun, but certainly not anyone I would be looking to bang. What I wasn't expecting was a young blonde Scottish man in his twenties to be there, who absolutely fit as fuck with the most gorgeous Scottish accent, (what can I say I am an absolute SUCKER for a regional accent).Turns out he works with my mum's partner at the same school. He was also there with a woman in her twenties and I assumed they were together. 

After meeting we all decided to go into town around midnight (plus my gay flatmate who was also at the party), the other girl revealed she was going to go home to her girlfriend. So it was down to the three of us. We went to a great little indie bar and spent the rest of the night chatting and dancing, and then I proceeded to start kissing ScorTish whilst my flatmate essentially third-wheeled around us (sorry Sean!)

ScorTish came back to mine and we had some BANGING sex. He was pretty rough and went at me like an absolute jackhammer. Slipped in a "Good Girl" or two. Highly enjoyable. 

Next morning we went out for brunch and coffee, came back to mine, fucked some more, played MarioKart on the N64, had a nap, then had some more sex. It was just fucking awesome. Got his number, he seemed keen to meet up again.




Cue a week of fairly constant messaging, set up a date. He seems wonderful. Really fucking clever (1st in MATHS at Imperial), decided to be a teacher in a rough school than go into a soulless banking job (which he would have walked into and be being paid a HELL of a lot more), got promoted to head of maths within 2 years etc etc, musical - plays the guitar, into the same kind of music, goes to festivals. Go on date, go to a few different bars. Get on pretty well! The night ends with him back at mine for a repeat run. He leaves pretty early to go back to his to sort out a fridge getting delivered.....




....and that was it. The last I heard from him. No messages for a day or two. And my gut kicked in....this was different. He'd been messaging constantly the week before. I knew something was up. And once again, my gut was 100% right. I wish it was wrong sometimes, you know??



So, I sent a message asking if he wanted to meet up again. Which got ignored. The dreaded "double blue ticks" appeared on Whatsapp. Seriously, those fucking blue ticks need to do one. I went into serious meltdown mode on Twitter about it, but luckily some absolute babes on there (holla guys!) calmed me down.

24 hours later I sent: "Does the radio silence mean that's a no then?" Which also got ignored. 

Not going to lie, I was pretty upset at first. I really quite liked this guy. I then, then I just got royally pissed off. Would it kill you to just send a "thanks but no thanks"? It takes NOTHING. It's just fucking RUDE to ghost someone. Especially someone who's mum is marrying your really quite good friend. Anyway. I composed this kick ass message, but I never actually sent it because you know what? He didn't deserve the satisfaction.

"Don't worry, I've got the message loud and clear so this will be the last text you get from me. You don't want to see me again, that's fine. But really, ignoring me until I go away is childish and actually just plain fucking rude, especially given how we met and who you know. (Mum's fiance) seems to think a lot of you but to me that seems a bit mistaken. It really doesn't take much to have a bit of respect to just say "sorry I don't think I want to see you again," and if you're being a proper grown up you could even stretch to a reason why! I guess I just don't understand what's happened because I thought we were having fun? Obviously got that wrong. I also thought you weren't a ghosting fuckboy as well but there we go. Have a good one."

And about 3 days later I was over the dickhead.




Knocked down thirty three, get up thirty four....